There are times that things no longer go the way you want. Its not inconsequential to think this way. Doesn't mean someone who has a strong mind don't have their lousy days.

Struggling at the moment with only 9 more days to study for my papers with due assignments left undone. Seeing my classmates rushing their work while i rushing it to for the last week before exams. Please people if you read this no point calling me to cheer up because you know i deserve it. Feeling that guilt inside, you should understand.

Too many things and little time to complete the things that are left un-done. Committments that are too heavily implied. Should i quit choir? In a time like this i wish i could join my CG for church. Oh my, i'm skipping church again? After so long? Sometimes just thought of going to church more than choir.
[Something tells me that i should concentrate more on violin and in fact i thought of the same way too.]
I guess i'm not up to the choir things however i still want the overseas exposure since my secondary school was too poor to do something like this. How a pathetic 2009....sacrificing the funds for some trip for the secondary 3 students and destroy the whole prom night things for the sec 4. Thankfully 2008 was the best. If not i would have left the school after condemning it.

I have a plan now, go for the overseas trip for the choir and after that i will quit.
I'm actually more looking forward to the overseas trip with SP strings people more. Hopefully it will be best out of everything that i would look for.
First time flying overseas, i'm high over it. I travel overseas before just now flying overseas. Never been to any other countries rather than Malaysia, closest of all. My opportunity is here. If you are good in something definitely opportunity comes. Glad that i took violin earlier and drastic improvement in 2009!

I feel like closing my blog down but i know people are still visiting it but not as often as ever. Its either i'm too lazy to blog or too tired to do so. Maybe it has to do with my mood.

Anyway i'm here to really give big thanks to NPCG , (Yanling,Shiyi and Yvonne) the girl's , EOM, my friends in NPstrings and definitely my family for giving such a wonderful 18th birthday. Really a thousand thanks. Its not something that words could describe. The sincerity and the effort put in, although not visual but it can be felt. And my first time that my friends really celebrated with me instead of the normal go out and eat style. The cakes, cards and presents. Really something i would not have thought of. I delight, enlightened and truly the best day of my life for the first time that i say.


26 of Nov, first time being scolded by a lecturer in Poly. People may think he spouts rubbish and spent 2 whole hours scolding the class. But to me i was a humiliation. Being compared with foreigners. The working attitude they have is to us is something to them its nothing. See the standards there? Same goes for my music, the strong working attitude, the determination that should have been applied to my studies as well. For the first time in many months, i felt down, disappointed in the way i am of laziness, where i should be applying the hard work i apply for my music.
I shan't elaborate more. I wish i could but the more i wrote, the more frustrating i get. Wasted 2 hours where i prepared for my presentation, complete my report and even study on my test. Sleeping less than 3 hours. A bad beginning being ruin the a large extent. What The Hell.
( I lost my mood in playing the violin during CCA. I thought playing the violin was supposed to make me feel better but the disappointment i had couldn't be resolve by playing the violin unless i work it out and prove people wrong. I even lost the mood to play my new guitar when i reach which i always do when i reach home.)

I hope things will get well....lucks gone...

I'm supposed to blog like last week? Initially i got too lazy to blog since i have too many work to do and training to work on. This is the middle of my 4th weeks since school reopened, this shows how long ago that i'm supposed to blog!

Family Concert was 2 weeks ago. I don't know if should give a brief elaboration or the whole *big thing* of it. Well, FC was really awesome thanking the people who came such as my parents who were there themselves. Really Praise the Lord that they would agree to come. It was an AWESOME night as it was my first time performing solo with NP strings main ensemble. I learnt new experiences through the performance dealing with stage frights. Its always true when one met with unconstant circumstances through the hardest time comes up with solution in a *click* and deal with it in a few seconds. That experience can only be experience by ownself nevertheless impossible to share. (Those times shared with you guys in the loft was worth it, its like a step closer to know you peeps well. Nevertheless without the stress of people talking behind your back)

4th week of school. The relationship between my classmates got better in a instant. I guess all this hardwork in pulling them back was worthwhile. Not alone anymore. You feel the loneliness and being weird being around them if they were too far off from them. Like a real big distance between them. I felt better after an outing with them like really get to talk to them. School is getting FUN! I'm looking forward to it everyday. =)I shall end here!

I'm back to blogging for a while. I just got back from music camp just 2 days ago, i have not recover my energy fully yet. Ever since the holidays started i haven't had enough rest all the time until i could feel that i'm really beaten out. Tomorrow is the start of the new term, a whole new fresh start for me and i know its not going to be easy this semester. I have to work hard to pull up my grades.

Day 0 of music camp
There wasn't much planning of games except preparing of games and slacking but the day passed by super fast. Had our night walk during the night and exploring the areas it was alright but should have gone to block 50 to walk around. Well eventually after that was sleeping time but then we decided to watch movies.We started off with uninvited and then the shutter. However, i found it quite boring so Me, cabbage and sheramin went to al almeem to have supper and we bought DURIANS! OMG, my whole left hand smells like durian for the whole camp!!! Had a long chat with weiling till all the way to 6am and only had 2 hours sleep since have to wake up by 9am but instead i came up at 8. And thats ->

Day 1
Group leaders reported at 9 am while we were having our big breakfast! After that we have a briefing till 10am and then all the members assembled in the music room. The fun part was looking at the members poking the balloons falling into random groups. Through fate they were brought together as one. One thing about Poly is that people are more open and clicked together more easily, unfamiliar with each other for the first day but seem like a clique after 2 or 3 days. First thing to happen on the first day was group gathering and mass game(getting to know each other). After that it was lunch and then headed on with a practise where the day end just wonderful. Simply whereby i do enjoy my time dinner and gathering with EOM people after a few weeks where everyone is either in overseas or working. This time the whole group went supper at almeen again coming back with loads of durians which is OMG man! Didn't know our clique there is so much durian lovers. Chen Chuan's sentence of that day "if malaysian do not love to eat durian, they are not call malaysian, maybe someone from a foreign land". Okay practise was imbal for the freshies since there we imbal beats. Anyone wants me to teach them music? Please tell me!

Day 2
Woke up early in the morning feeling blank like i normally do. Being in a committee waking up late seems to be the best thing to happen because you don't have to break sweat but somehow feeling unfair for the others. Since i'm a guy with a deodorant everywhere i go, i didn't bath in the morning all the way till night. Morning breakfast was retarded because the packed food sucks big time thanks to Ian Wong not letting us order the food from makan place which open almost everyday? Seeing how many people suffer eating that food makes you lose your appetite too. A lot of our members cannot take chilli so yea many did not eat much where they have to bare with that junk for 3 days more. How fortunate am i that i met some friends in secondary school that who are spice gigs as they turned me into one too. Lets continue, after breakfast was 2 hours of sectionals practise and then it was lunch and then the games. We wanted to start off with dirty games thanks the weather for saving the members with a shower so we just proceeded into wet weather program. I think the weather program like balloon busters ,charades, blind folds and entangle was better than the dirty games. I find the members enjoy more eventhough it was warm being entangled altogether, seeing how people get to know each other more deeply during the games when you observe the difference in their face from day 1 till day 2. I think its the free and easy night that they know more about each other, I think as a CCA we should meet up not always practising but sometimes we can have outing or stayover at night. E.G(sentosa outing , mass dinner , mass picnic and mass picnic) Isn't how a CCA should be eventhough we have to spend money on this but the time spent is worth while. Continuing from previously, after the games we had our wash up and then we head on with practise again. Woots, i was called to conduct our own main ensemble, man i love the experience and i hope the members enjoyed when i was conducting. Favouritely, i didn't waste my time in this camp but i learn a lot of things. After practise was, night movie and following the night walk where i was stationed at block 73 where i had a few encounters. I guess i overcome my fear alone in darkness although not really 100%. Had some scary experiences in that block where i won't want to mention because its really, you know that kind of stuff that moves around and can't be seem and manifest during a certain period. That goes for DAY 2! Wanted to go Al Ameen but we were too tired to do so, after bath we went straight to sleep. In additional, i was REAL BROKE! First time in my life i feel so broke thanks to my bro who didn't bring back the form for me to sign to get my pay! Tsk! Ok thats go for DaY 2 and i manage to get some SLEEP!



Day 3
Started off in a mess whereby game masters woke up late whereby day 2 ended late so we headed on to lunch. Things could not go on so smoothly since they made a last min announcement but most of the members were too tired and went to sleep on day 2 night. Initially we intended to skip the practise in the morning and proceed to practise. However, things could not go well. So the games were prepared late as well. We intended to start the dirty games at 2pm but however thanks to the 2 of them and also the rain which dragged the starting time of the dirty games. Okay i waited for whole 2 hours before a group came to me. How wonderful can that be sitting there and rot there in an unknown block whereby not much people goes there. Eeries in a sense. Finally the wet weather got better and start seeing groups coming in just as well. Waste my time! I rather walk around taking pictures and laughing with other members. Really sianz. After the whole game for me after packed up was 7pm already. So Me and CC had a quick bath , a rush dinner and a rush off to YY's rehearsal. The rehearsal and my solo was alright. I didn't memorise the score and yet im able to play it!!! Thats call 奇迹!!! Overall the rehearsal end in a good way under YY and YL's directions. Day 3 ended after the practise. However, it seems that the members wants more practise than usually, i didn't experience such enthusiasm before, really motivates to keep on playing the violin! Hence, i stay up late in the night playing violin with them and it was quite fun. Overall i enjoyed my time with the group of freshies ,my clique and yea some other members (too many names to mention)as well.

Last day of camp
Last day of camp ended early because EOM have to celebrate Huiwen's 18 birthday, MACDONALD's PARTY! The party was fun, thanks the organisers for making it more adult-ly game for us. Really thank God that Hui Wen enjoys the party. Although the meal was small portion but actually it was quite full for me. Seriously, i love EOM more, maybe it is a place where i can find myself back. I don't really remember who i was seriously, all i remember is that i was a very quiet when i was young. A kid who don't enjoys going out but staring at the wall was my favourite. Maybe whats original cannot be find back. I can only be who i am for now and enjoying the moment of life in NP to the fullest. Regardless of how my classmates treats as long as EOM is here. I'm not alone because i know there are people there for me when i needed it. I really have to thank Cabbage for believing in me. He made feel home. This feeling actually makes me wanna come for EOM meetings more and serve in its community more.


"What any people see on the outside is bleak, but what you see on the inside are this strong bonds that kept us together."

Finally my last day of work in PB. Seriously its really tiring. I have to wake up at 7am almost everyday to go to work. I've been lacking of sleep big time too. Everyday max i only sleep 5 hours. End up dozing off in work. Finally i can rest and at ease too. Sorry about today's study session. I thought i could go all the way till morning but i can't. I realised i was too tired by around 3am and i have to teach at 11am in the morning too so im also worried i can't bring myself to the best to teach other people wasting their hard earn income. Didn't tell you its because i don't want you to worry....Jiayou for your O 'levels you can de

I've been wanting to blog more but just could not find the correct mood to blog about certain things.
4 people i want to talk about William , Grefanny ,Elliot and Bobby. Definitely these are not their real names, to remain unoffensive it has to be done this way.

William is a screw up who do not know how to make decisions where he ends up ruining what has been left for him to do with the entrust of other people.

Grefanny is a person who hates people who are better than her making irrational decisions without thinking the consequences.

Both William and Grefanny are alike because they do unneccesary stuff instead of the important ones. The unnecessary stuff they do don't pull back the people that they had lost. I don't know why are they so stupid enough that they don't see the major problem that the important things passed down to them is on the verge of self-destruction. They really do not see the point of everything, instead of rantling at the blog why not throw you out at their face because its just what i want to do just couldn't find the right time, i were you i would have said it right infront of your face, saying that YOU BOTH SUCKS And SUCKS DISGUSTINGLY!! If you both have so much time to do this and that but why not implement on the much more important stuff that you should be doing? Seriously, i don't like to say this but you both are getting an eye sore to me just by your behaviour you give and the actions you do.Nothing worst can beat both of you, hey peeps why not some claps? (Instead of asking people who appear constantly and only absent for a few days why not go find the people who disappeared for the whole semester? You both are older than me but don't seem to have a mind that can think better than me.Doesn't mean you have a set of skills means you can win and run ahead of people, don't underestimate because you don't know how inferior you are, your actions only make me laugh its just like a big joke to others as well. No one brings relationship into something so important, its not about yourself but others too, please don't do things when you feel like it, knowing how others feel is what both of you should be doing to pull back the people you lost.. What does soft speakers have the right to call other people to speak loudly? Think before you speak and do, if you yourself can't do it then don't call others to do it.

Elliot the 80% selfish is a woman of weakness. She is a woman of her style meaning ,she just want to do something the way she want it even in group works. Please not everyone is have to listen to you ,don't act like you are really an important big shot because you aren't. When things happen, the things you think bad don't always comply to others and it can be directed to yourself, you should be the one asking yourself what you had done wrong where things landed in that state. She treat her good friends almost like a dog ordering here and there like a delivery man/woman. The only thing thats was quite dubious is that she can only crap jokes on people while other people can't. The way she use words to reply to people not a single word is in inconsideration of how people will feel if she said it. The tone she uses to speak to people makes people feel really awkward, sad and pissed off at times and not a single apologies was given upon realising. She gets affected(emo) by things way too easily and out of a sudden bringing her unhappiness to other people. The reason why people have not been able to reach her its because she so much of herself that people got sick of it. The more people dote on her, the more she walks over people's head. Her friend who treats her so nice end up with the same kind of bad treatment, treating her friend almost like a compiled (accumulated) junk. Oh please, no one owes you in this world so please think about the things you said and the things you do, to others it is okay but to her who treat you so well, who tries to understand you and yet those hurting actions and words that you didn't put serious considerations about, do you not feel guilty?. That is the reason why one by one people are leaving you alone. Your actions really do not reflect on your age, you should be even more mature so please GROW UP! Good friends are not easy to find i just wish you treat her better.

I shan't elaborate more about bobby. He is just a man who has lost his balls(pride) to a girl where the girl had eaten them up. Where now bobby is none better than a worthless piece of junk and not even worth a single cent or even a dog!

Okay i'm supposed to blog yesterday but i was too tired to do so, so i didn't. Went out with band mates Wednesday night! Its like every Wed night? Because our schedule click together being more free on thursday. We planned a lot of stuff and its gonna be a good start. The Enthusiasm is back, the feeling i guess. Lets start with a Acoustic Session!!
Okay...i don't, i just realised my voice can only developed when i sing loudly where switching from normal to falsetto is made much easier if its loud. Every meeting is getting better and better and feels much like a clique already.

There are a few people i feel like elaborating more on their inferiority but i guess i shan't do that because i'm tired. Have to wait till i'm more free. Stay Tuned